YourTimeYou found the thing. The price is right, the photos look real, and then the seller says: "I've had a lot of no-shows — can you send a $20 deposit to hold it?"
The short answer: almost never. Sending money to a stranger before you've met them or seen the item is the single most common shape of marketplace fraud, and every major platform's own safety guidance says the same thing — pay in person, after inspection. A stranger asking you to break that rule is asking you to take all the risk in the transaction.
Why sellers ask — and why it's still a bad deal for you
Here's the uncomfortable truth: the seller usually isn't a scammer. Buyer no-shows are a genuine, constant drain for people selling secondhand — we wrote a whole guide on it from the seller's side. A deposit request is often an honest seller's clumsy self-defense.
But "the seller has a real problem" doesn't make prepaying a good idea, because the arrangement is one-sided in every way that matters:
- You take all the risk. If the seller sells it to someone else, stops replying, or simply doesn't show, you're chasing a stranger for your money — usually across a payment app's dispute process, if you can dispute it at all.
- There's no referee. If you show up and the item isn't as described, is your deposit refundable? Says who? You're relying entirely on the honesty of someone you've never met.
- Scammers love the pattern. Fake listings that collect "holding deposits" from several buyers and vanish are a well-documented con precisely because it looks so reasonable.
If you're still considering it
Occasionally the ask is semi-reasonable — a large item, a long drive for you, a seller with competing buyers. If you're tempted anyway, at minimum: video-call to see the item live, use a payment method with real buyer protection (never wire, gift cards, or "friends & family" transfers), keep the amount trivial, and get the terms in writing in the chat. But understand what you're doing: you're lending trust to someone with no obligation to return it.
A simple test that cuts through everything: offer the mirror image. If they'd like $20 from you in case you flake, suggest you each place $20 in case either of you does. An honest seller with a real no-show problem usually says "sure — how?" If they'd rather not match it, that tells you the deposit was more about convenience than commitment — useful to know before you send anything.
The fair version exists — money held, not sent
The legitimate need behind deposit requests — making "I'll be there" mean something — doesn't require anyone to pay anyone up front. It requires symmetry and a referee. That's what we built YourTime to be: you and the seller each place a small refundable deposit as a card hold. Nobody is charged anything to schedule. Both of you show up — confirmed by GPS at the agreed spot, not by anyone's word — and both holds are released in full. Meetups that happen are always free. If one side no-shows, their deposit becomes a no-show fee and most of it is paid to the person who kept their word. The full mechanics are here.
That answers each of the worries above: no one holds anyone else's money, the risk lands only on whoever flakes, and neither side has to trust a stranger's promise — just their deposit.
The short version
Don't send holding deposits to strangers — the pattern is unsafe even when the person asking is honest. If a seller's no-show worry is real, make the commitment mutual: both sides on the hook, nobody paid up front, released in full when you both show. That's the version where "serious buyer" and "safe buyer" stop being opposites.